2007年11月28日
11/28
11/28/07
The weather turned cold today; it was cold, windy, and overcast. I wake up late, so I was almost late for the Chinese class. Fortunately, I got there on time. How lucky I was!! During the class, I looked out the window at the bad weather. It gave me headache. I felt uncomfortable, so I didn’t want go outside, I just wanted to stay in the dormitory where it is nice and warm. On rainy days, I sometimes feel like going to a coffee shop and staying there all day, drinking a cup of coffee and reading a magazine or a book. Sounds relaxing, doesn’t it? How can I have that kind of life? I imagine this every time it rains; I build castles in the air.
Today, I called to my father, and we had a long talk. Suddenly, I realized that home is always my harbor of refuge where I can feel loved. I wanted to go home and ate my mother’s cook. I felt so homesick.
訂閱：
張貼留言 (Atom)
1 則留言:
Hi Carrol. Though you haven't written enough times, it is still a big improvement. Thank you.
I will rewrite this post to point out your common errors. Please note your comma splice in the first sentence. Please also pay attention to your verbs' tenses; they are sometimes not suitable for your meanings.
The weather turned cold today; it was cold, windy, and overcast. I woke up late, so I was almost late for Chinese class. Fortunately, I got there on time. How lucky I was! During the class, I looked out the window at the bad weather. It gave me a headache. I felt uncomfortable, so I didn't want to go outside. [Note the spacing problem on your period here!]. I just wanted to stay in the dormitory, where it is nice and warm. On rainy days, I sometimes feel like going to a coffee shop and staying there all day, drinking a cup of coffee and reading a magazine or a book. Sounds relaxing, doesn't it? How can I have that kind of life? I imagine this every time it rains; I build castles in the air.
Today I called my father, and we had a long talk. Suddenly, I realized that my home is always my harbor of refuge where I can feel loved. I wanted to go home and eat my mother's cooking. I felt so homesick.
Please compare your version to mine and spot the changes; they are the ways you should check and fix your own writing every time. Please don't forget to spellcheck and grammar check before you post for the next period. Thank you!
Grade: 67
Chris O'Brien
張貼留言